


What Makes You Happy

by Raven_is_blue



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), No Plot, Reylo - Freeform, like no plot at all, short things with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15911247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_is_blue/pseuds/Raven_is_blue
Summary: Just conversation in the dark. Feelings. Nobody is alone.





	What Makes You Happy

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this "What makes you happy" prompt on my tumblr. Really, didn't even read stories in that, just sat and wrote this. And then I sent it to [Akashne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akashne) and she said "Yes". So, I show it to [Grace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17) and she cut, she corrected and my little piece became a diamond.
> 
> All hail to my Goddesses!

"What makes you happy?"

Kylo looks at her. His room is dark, little lights on the ceiling made to decorate the walls rather than illuminate the room. He can barely see where she’s sitting, her form made of shades and darkness.

He knew the easiest answer. He could say "You," and smile and hope that's enough and she doesn't shut down at his response. But he knew Rey, knew that if she was asking, she wasn't fishing for compliments. She had a reason. So he thought about it for a moment.

"Nothing, for a very long time." He answers and makes an abrupt gesture to let her know he’s still thinking, still trying to form the words, trying to remember. "I was happy. Then. Before. Before..." He's quiet now, immersed in his own mind, walking back the infinite road to the past.

"I was happy." He repeats. "When I was a boy. My mother smiled at me, my father... dad... his hands were steady whenever I tried to walk, to run. Always ready to catch me. Always ready to teach me. I was happy then."

Rey cocks her head a little, listening to unspoken words, tracing his memories with him. And she is so solemn, so somber, that he feels the need to continue.

"My mother’s smile is the best thing in the whole world. Always warm and shining bright. It touches your soul and makes you feel..."

"Whole." She whispers. She's still. Like an image of her, branded in his mind, next to all beautiful things he doesn't deserve.

"I was happy then," He speaks again, to fill the silence, to banish the images of his father’s hands, of his mother’s fading smile. "When I was a kid and I knew they would be there. Always. Forever. No matter what. I was happy when I was sent to him. I wanted to learn, I wanted them to be proud." His voice trembles a little and he looks at her, asking, begging, wanting.  Her hand on his. Their fingers intertwined. Warm. Sometimes he thinks that she’s like him. Starved for touch, for love, friendship, familiarity, intimacy. And then she looks at him, sees him, breaks down his barriers and he feels stupid. Of course she's not like him. She couldn’t be. She’s never been lonely, lost, broken...

"What happened?" She asks.

"I don't know." He answers. She cocks her head again like a curious puppy, and he smiles. "I really don't. Dreams. Misunderstandings. I wanted too much. I didn't want enough. I tried to talk to them, but I couldn’t find the words, and they never found the time."

"Is it their fault?" She asks.

"Rey, please. I don't understand. What do you want from me?" He says. And he feels so small again. He wants to answer her, but he wants to know why she’s asking. Why these questions. Why now. Why.

"I'm alone. Always. I’m surrounded by people. They know my name. They talk to me. They touch me. They’re all around me. But I am alone," She says so quietly, ways below whispers, just above the silence. "And maybe it's me. Maybe it’s my fault because I'm not enough, not... human enough."

"So you asked a monster?" His voice is cutting, bitter. "I can't help you." He wrests his hand from her grasp and turns to the wall. Silence engulfs them.

"I'm sorry." Her fingers dance on his arm, ghosting just above his skin. "You’re not a monster." He would laugh, but he wants to cry or shout or just wail into darkness. "No, really, Ben. You may be a killer. But you’re not a monster."

He turns his head to look at her. Searching her face for truth.

"Are you sure you want to be here with me?" He asks.

"Yes." Her voice is steady and still. She smiles and her eyes are warm. He smiles back. And he has no idea who speaks now.

"You know what makes me happy?"

Silence. Fear. Hope. Waiting for the answer to echo in the darkness.

"You."

 


End file.
